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what makes me uncomfortable is abusive people constantly posting about the people they abused and how “awful” they were when you were no better. at all.

we all know we werent great. we can admit that.
ive attempted suicide more times than anyone needs to know…

regardless of how old you were and whatever you were going through you’re not going to be absolved of what you did it’s just a way for you to distance yourself from the people you abused and there is a long ass list of victims You fucked over so many fucking people and kept me as an emotional hostage and saying that you were young and in a bad place isn’t gonna take the pain away from anyone else besides you Fuck off

okay.  i understand that my actions have upset people int he past and i don’t really want to be absolved from them, to be honest i always felt like the shit i was put through was damn near equal to whatever it was i did to anyone who is not in my life and for good reason anymore. all i ask is that you please not engage me like this.

i would love nothing more than to sit down with anyone i have previously hurt or abused and talk about it for the sake of either of us, because i honestly do not and have not ever had a clear picture of what i did and to who.  i do not mind talking to anyone who’s willing—as long as it is in private and one by one.  if i say anything incriminating that you want to use against me, feel free to screenshot it.  

but please don’t engage me publicly like this.  liking and reblogging my posts is not something i want to deal with.  it’s the only thing left in my life that consistently sends me into panic attacks because i also consider a lot of you toxic to my wellbeing and i am happy when i am not speaking to you.  i reserve the right to vent about shit on my own blog.  it makes me feel better.  just as you reserve the right to have a tag in my name full of posts about how much you hate me.  i don’t frequent those things, and i’d ask that you don’t frequent mine unless i do something shitty like mention you by url or name.

call outs that will make me into a better person are welcomed.  but i need help understanding how to improve myself from the people i was shitty to in the past.

im reblogging this here because i’m kicking you guys off my main blog.  contact me in private if you need me to talk about anything.  i won’t see any reblogs of this post.